I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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