i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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