just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
