Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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