Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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