I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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