my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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