i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm always down for nudity.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
