Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
