I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
