Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
