id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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