don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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