Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize