Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
