i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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