the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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