Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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