I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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