Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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