I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
