Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
