i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize