just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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