I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
