I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
