Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
