I want you more than these girls want KFC
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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