Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
