whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My pussy is not your playground.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
