Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
