I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
