i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
