i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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