Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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