I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize