New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
