dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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