If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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