Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
