Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
