??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she told me i tasted like america
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
