May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize