I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We have so much sex to catch up on
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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