don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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