i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
