hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
