look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
