ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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