I wanna bring you to show and tell
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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