My brain says no but my pants say off.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize