You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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