Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
