i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
