i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
