what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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