we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm at about main and main street
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
