I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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