Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I love you. Go after that dick
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
