READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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